The microwave appeared on the scene in the mid 1940s but did
not become an American kitchen staple until the mid 1970s. Essentially it revolutionized meal
preparation; meals that formerly took hours in preparation and cooking time could
now be available in mere minutes. Along
with that fundamental conversion came a shift in attitudes and expectations as
well. Women no longer had to spend all
day slaving in the kitchen to put the evening meal for the family on the
table. At first glance this seems like a
monumental improvement and a step toward progress. But at what cost is the question I ponder.
We can boil water in a minute, have air popped popcorn in
just about two minutes and a microwave dinner can be ready in seven minutes or
under depending on the wattage (power) of your microwave. However that rapidity comes at a cost. With it comes the change of
expectations. We have quickly adapted to
the fast-paced demands of our modern day world.
Whether the changing technology presupposed our attitudinal change or
our technology just responded to the societal changes of a modern day world is
a conversation for another time, but make no mistake about it – these changes
have also infiltrated how we approach love and our search for love.
As a little girl I remember my mother and even my
grandmother in the kitchen; of course I have other memories of them, but mostly
ones centered in or around the kitchen preparing one of many meals for the
family. The kitchen was the center of
all of the action. Meals were prepared;
card games were played; guests were entertained; vacations were planned and
discussions concerning all important family matters were held – in short it was
the nucleus of the family as a single functioning unit. Grandparents and parents were expected to
celebrate golden anniversaries; longevity was the norm not the exception. If marriages suffered trouble or setbacks,
they were repaired and patched not discarded.
Those were the days before we became this fast-paced, disposable,
single-serving size microwaveable world that seems to be the new normal of
today.
In our haste to get everything fast, it seems that we have
forgotten how to let things simmer, slow cook, and we do not watch carefully to
prevent our pots from boiling over. Gone
are the days of letting something marinate for hours and heating slowly and
thoroughly to maintain tenderness, texture and integrity.
We approach love in the same way – we want it
immediately. Like we scan the drive thru
menu of a fast food restaurant, we scan profiles quickly to see if someone has
the right ingredients. Are they the right height, body type, hair and eye
color? Is their income level and
educational background suitable? Is
their picture pleasing enough to us? We
decide whether someone is or could be a suitable match by giving them little
more than a cursory online glance and then if they pass some ideal we have in
our mind then perhaps an exchange of emails, texts, perhaps a phone call or two
and then a face-to-face meeting is pursued.
A profile doesn’t show how a person will stand by you in a
crisis, nor does it show if they will quickly come to your aid when you are
troubled, or if they will forgive you when you have angered them. It also doesn’t show if a person can make you
smile, even if is at yourself, if they can find joy in the simple ordinary
tasks of daily living or if their consoling embrace washes away all the trials
of your day. No – a profile shows none
of these things; only time does. Like
the time to slow cook a pork roast for Sunday dinner, patience and time is
required to learn these things about a person.
Unfortunately we will not achieve our goal of finding
and keeping love with rapid fire techniques and quickly discarding those who at
first glance do not meet our artificial standards unless we slow down and take
the time to let love simmer, long and slow.
No comments:
Post a Comment