Longing

Being alone with my thoughts in the quiet of the night may not always be such a good thing.  I find that my thoughts drift to what I yearn for….it is that intense longing that I think we all feel at one point or another.  It is the insatiable hunger for our lover’s touch found deep within our soul that defies reason or understanding.  It is that thirst for another that is unquenchable, yet our body craves it and we are certain we will perish without it.  Who among us has not felt this type of incredible, inexpressible longing for another?

Sometimes it feels as if our heart is sending out a barely discernible signal to that other heart that is meant to join with ours and we search until we find this elusive union regardless of how long, how far or how many lifetimes we must traverse through until that love only our heart will recognize is finally requited.  From the heavens Plato is nodding happily that someone understands or laughing and nudging Aristotle saying, “See, I told you they would believe it!  Silly humans believe anything when it comes to love.”

This longing I speak of can come in different forms.  For some, it may just be the idea of the other; one who you have yet to meet, but you have the vision of him (or her) in your heart and no one can compare or at least that is the message your heart sends out to you each and every time you meet someone.  Your unconscious mind measures that person against the ideal contained within the deepest recesses of your heart found only at the most soulful level.  It is like missing someone you do not even know.  Yet you will recognize in an instant once he (or she) does cross your path.  Could this be why so many believe in love-at-first-sight?  Does our heart instinctively know what we do not? 

For others, it may be someone you already know or knew, maybe briefly, or intimately, and that love was left unfinished for some reason.  And it still has a powerful magical hold over you, an uncontrollable desire that can even make the sanest person appear mad.  For reasons beyond mere mortal comprehension you were fortunate enough to cross paths with this person, yet fear, misunderstanding, or uncertainty plagued the union and it slipped away to leave your soul crushed and full of despair.  This type may be even more perilous than the first; your spirit has already tasted the sweet ambrosia of bliss and the powerful, painful, bitter aftertaste of longing can consume your soul if you do not taste it again or at least that is the truth your heart recognizes.

Then in attempts to bury the pain you divert your attention to another or put all your energies into other singularly driven pursuits that take you further and further away from your bliss, further away from the divine communion with your beloved, the one who sees your genuine essence without judgment and responds with complete acceptance and adoration.

  

Perhaps the great 13^th century Persian poet and mystic, Rumi captured it so succinctly when he wrote of surrendering to the power of love to realize the state of infinite bliss:

“There is some kiss we want our whole lives, the touch of the spirit on the body.  Seawater begs the pearl to break its shell, and the lily, how passionately it needs some wild darling!  At night, I open the window and ask the moon to come and press its face against mine.  Breathe into me.  Close the language door and open the lover’s window.  The moon won’t use the door, only the window.”

Like Pandora, the mortal who unwittingly unleashed countless ills and evils upon humanity, we have one remedy remaining in our cache – we have hope.